Home Made Apple Crumble

This is my Apple Crumble I made with my own apples from my tree.
Was rather lush if I do say so myself.

Men

Well what can i say except i have made some bad choices but i cant say all of that otherwise i wouldnt have my 3 kids who i adore dearly,
The next one who comes into my life will have to accept me for me,kids are a package and aint going nowhere,
Treat me the way i deserve to be treated,is independant and doesnt want me as a mother figure lol,
Preferably drive lol,can cook haha,has a good sense of humour,taller than me ha,has there own place,doesnt bug me by ringing or texting me 1000 times a day!
Is family orientated will enjoy nothing more than spending time with family as well as there own.

Autism

I live in my own world but it does`nt mean i can`t hear.
I live in my own world but it does`nt mean i can`t see.
I understand more than you know.
I do things my way cos its the way i see to do it.
It does`nt mean i don`t want you to show me the way.
I cannot show love cos i do not understand but t does`nt mean i dont want love.
Some people do not understand me cos they do not try to look into my world.
If they did they would see my world in a different way.
We are not different we just see the world different.
To see the world properly you need to look through someone elses lense.

Depression

Sometimes i feel on my own even though people are there,
It doesnt matter as you cannot see how i  feel inside,
Strong i try to be but thats all an act,
Silly things bother me and i cannot ask for help so i keep it all in cos this is how i cope,
keep calm and carry on this is how it is but sometimes the things and days i feel like in a black whole with no way out,
i wish i didnt feel like it but the fact is i do one day i will climb out this hole and feel better.
Sometimes i feel a failure and sometimes i dont,
It depends on the way i feel on that day and whats happened that day.
Crying is normal to me and unless you understand how i feel please dont judge me,
You will never know unless youve been through it how it feels,
every one is  different in the way they cope,

Life as a single mum

People think being a single mum means you get weekends off,time out,your kids fail at school.you bring up delinquents.
Well not in this household!
My girls have all got great grades.
They aren't on street corners causing trouble.
They have got good manners,even better than some kids with 2 parents that both work and can give them everything they want!
Our government labels single mums as layabouts yes there are some which is why we get that label but not everyone!
My kids do not get what they want at the drop of a hat.
It annoys me when I see kids kicking off with there parents because they want the latest gadget and they get given in to,if they do this as a kid what are they going to be like as teenagers!
Mine have not had it easy I'm the first to tell you this,this said they respect money doesn't grow on trees,respect is earnt not given and to get anywhere in life you need to put in to get something out.
So I'm proud of the way I brought my kids up,even though I've had no help in 11 years financially or emotionally from there father,I'm a stronger person and I'd like to think I've passed that on to my girls.

My Grandson Jack

My children and my Grandson mean the world to me.

I love them all so very much.

Here is a picture of the man of my life lol.

My 2 year old Grandson Jack.

Comping

I'm putting this post up about comping.
I love to comp but I've also found out there are some right bitches out there who don't care about peoples feeling at all!
I've won a few bits here and there but nothing in months so yes I do get down when I see the same people Bragging about another IPad,Big win especially when you know there going to sell it!
I'd love to take my kids to all The Theme Parks,Zoos but I can't afford it.
So it gets me down when people enter knowing they can't even get to these places just so they can sell it on!
But I do love some of the good friends I've made along the way.
They know who they are :)
Love you guys.xxxxx

Can't wait till Friday

Friday can't come soon enough for me.
Why I hear you cry.
As myself,my girls,my grandson,my parents and my brother are off on holiday!
Where to?
You may ask.
The Isle of Wight.
We're going during Cowes Week.
I love it there so calm,so different to living in London lol.
So you will see lots of pictures lol.

Updating you all

Sorry I've not updated for a while but I'm now working!
I work in a kitchen in a school as a kitchen porter.
Hard work but so much better than being on the dole with them on your back!
The girls I work with are great!